Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
My aunt just said- "pizza is like sex. Even if it ain't good it ain't bad." Obviously she doesn't know us too well.
I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
I can't believe I got dumped for a fat chick, but at least I got four and a half years worth of free shit. So we can call it even.
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
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