I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well.
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
Hey by the way did you notice my third nipple in my snapchat
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
Randomize
