Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
We're listening to the crystal method and doing bong hits for jesus
How are you texting me from 1998?
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
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