shes about as inviting as chlamydia
you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
I think im gonna have to stop sexting on the metra. The middle aged businessman behind me just leaned over and whispered 'dirty girl' and highfived his seatmate.
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
I smell like Dick and happiness
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
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