whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
Just saw out breathalyzer tubes from last night on the side of the road. Glad the cop let us know that they are biodegradable
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
And here I am, playing fetch with my cat at two in the morning.
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
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