sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
It's hard to hold down the snapchat button for video while thrusting. Sorry if the cinematography wasn't Oscar-worthy.
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
Randomize
