I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
worst morning ever. completed my walk of shame home to find my parents, grandma, and priest had come down to surprise me on my birthday. now i'm in the car with them to go get my car from the bar.
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
I look like a herd of wild horses chewed on my back. If you bite me again while taking me from behind, I'm going to have to cut you off.
You insisted that you sleep on the bear rug instead of the couch. You said it was lonely and you kept on petting its head.
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
How do I politely say my vagina is not a chew toy and if you bite me again I will slap you?
You could say take it easy, whoa there, be gentle, anything that doesn't fully convey the horror.
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
I've just realized that today's rations have consisted of turkey bacon and jack Daniels.
Randomize
