pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs.
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
Driving to get a preg test with my ex, wearing my unicorn hat
You are so not ready for motherhood
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
I JUST DEFLATED MY BOOB.
I DON'T KNOW WHETHER TO LAUGH OR CALL AN AMBULANCE.
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
Randomize
