Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
what has become of my life if the best thing thats happened to me this week is that i discovered my cleavage as the best hiding spot ever for weed.
...there is blood under my fingernails.
...I hope my roomates are okay.
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being.
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
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