just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
Randomize
