btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You kept saying thank you to the automatic toilet as it flushed your puke.
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
Remember that time I sent you a 5lb bag of gummie bears?
Like it was yesterday.
Apparently I had it on auto deliver. So whoever is at your apt is gonna gen an interesting delivery...
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
there is glitter all over my balls
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
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