If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
I don't care what anyone says I want strippers at my funeral.
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
Randomize
