The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
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yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
Using the only finger i can move, i calculated body mass, intake and time. It's mathematically impossible for me to still have this hangover at 9pm. I passed out at 8pm last night. Fuck vodka.
I received a text promising me sex if I drove to Memphis this weekend. Too bad for my penis that we're watching zombie movies and playing cards.
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I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
I can't tell if I'm still on the hangover from last night, or if I'm experiencing the one from tomorrow, because it was so powerful that it actually traveled back through time...
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
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