who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
Alex texted me. Bootycall boy #2. its like an alarm goes off once i'm single that the line is open again
Where are you? I just made a vodka + cranberry & I’m going to drive there & throw it in your face
Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
So i banged this chick from Peru last night. Needless to say, I'm having chipotle for lunch todayas a south American reward to honor her.
Just got a lapdance on the metro. She said she was on maternity leave and needed the practice.
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
Thing I actually said tonight: "I want to achieve Ultimate level drunkenness, I'm only at Champion"
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
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