I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
Bottom line; if I'm coming out of my bat cave to do the dishes and get a chicken wing and I have no pants or makeup on and my messy bun looks more like Santa got leprosy and crashed his sled into the back of my head then let me be. That's all I'm saying.
I think I may be going on too many job interviews. I've started to bring up Shonda Rhimes in my interview answers.
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
2 weeks shy of 25 and all I’m wishing for is a secret admirer who pulls my trash cans to the curb Wednesday morning for me because I always forget to Tuesday’s nights thanks to it being dollar draft night at the local bar
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