Porn is love you can see.
i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
One of my students in my 8am class brought me a Tim Hortons cup with a bloody Mary in it. Clearly, I didn't manage to look not drunk when I ran into him at Denny's at 4am. Who decided to let me teach?
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
Worst walk of shame everrr. Hopefully the thought of me walking 20 minutes in the freezing cold with someone else's sweatpants, a bra on & high heels will cheer you up today.
Oh god there are people jogging. Fuck off productive people, you don't know me.
he signed me a blank check so today i get to decide if i want to be a saint or a millionaire
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
New one-upper goal: I have to shit off the side of a moving train then jump off
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
I just had a 10 minute staring contest with my dog. Can you come over?
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
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