I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
My hands always smell like pizza crust when im hungover.
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
Is it weird that the best sex I've ever had was to Barbara Streisand's Christmas album?
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
Randomize
