I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
Guess who just set half their backyard on fire.
Please tell me youre joking.
Nope. on the brightside though, im really gonna quit smoking this time.
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
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