i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
when are you leaving homes?
it's 7:51. why the fuck are you awake at 7:51
I had a sex dream about Oprah.
go back to sleep
dude. it was a sex dream. about. Oprah.
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
Yeah. That's the shitty part. God, I don't want to be a step mom. Sure I'm great with kids, but I just want unlimited sex and not have to worry about making friends with a fucking 7 year old.
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
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