You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
1. They have gold fish races every wednesday. 2. They have a redbull vodka slushie. We need to visit this place.
1. My fish will beat your fish. 2. Were getting fucked up
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
As she was leaving she said "You have an awesome penis, I hope to use it again soon" I need that on a business card to hand out at the bar
I asked for a steak knife but the waitress could see in my eyes it was a bad idea
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
The cops high fived after they tackled you
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
Randomize
