Did you just throw up mid-sentence?
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
This isn't a because its valentines day booty call, it's a because your cock is phenomenal booty call that happens to be on valentines day..
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
Just woke up to the cat unconscious on my stomach, his face between my tits, purring to bring down the walls. I'm endeared and horrified at the same time.
Randomize
