Remind me to tell you the Scottish bar story tomorrow
Remind me to tell you it was a shitty story when you're done telling it tomorrow
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just found a list in your handwriting titled "Places I've Peed." The National Mall and 'under the second bridge after the bend in the road' are two of the tamer entries. I tip my hat.
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Three months into our sexual relationship, he comes out with "Your body is efficient". WTF do I do with THAT?
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
All because of that GODDAMNED MIKE PENCE.
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
Randomize