they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
You tend to look at life differently when you wake up to nutella vomit all over your room with no recollection of how it got there
You know how to spell recollection?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
So...I was fapping and during it, I got an Amber Alert notification...that's just bad timing.
Fuck. I did it again. I plugged in my toaster and walked away thinking it needed to preheat. I am dumb.
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