Ended up passed out drunk in the neighbors lawn, still in costume. Neighbors thought I was a lawn decoration. Ten points for best Halloween ever.
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
My night consisted of weed, sex, and Mexican food. In that order. I think we found the keys to saving our marriage.
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
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