Hey theres a creepy ass guy stalking our house.i would look alive geting in 2nite.
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
Randomize
