They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
Why do I always give away anal sex as birthday presents?
Shut up... one mans birthday cake is another mans sodomy my friend
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
Robert just walked in drunk, grabbed my Jameson from me, told me to let him do his thing, and spilled it all over the coffee table. Then he told me to grab a funnel because he was going home.
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
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