I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
I'm off the liquor
You're forefathers are ashamed of you. They didn't struggle to make it to America so that you could become a soft dick
Accidentally peeing a little on the couch in the middle of a sneeze is way different from railing a random on our waffle counter. I am the better roommate.
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
My roommate was tripping balls last night, he kept me up all fucking night
Roommate? Please tell me you're not calling your cat your roommate
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
A guy from tinder a while ago who sent me dick pics straight out the gate is a tech on my dad's hospital floor. I was wondering why he looked familiar and why he never took my dads vitals when I was in the room
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
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