Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
I just added 'steal mom's xanax' to my to do list for when I go home for Easter.
I awoke in a cab to find myself on a ride to niagara falls. Apparently I paid the cab driver half up front.
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
I just high fived you brother at the bar then immediately realized my hands smell like your vagina
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
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