i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
A girl pulled up next to me at a stoplight just now, looked around for a second, and then changed her top, bra and all, before the light turned green. New. Hero.
You got the eggs out of the fridge and yelled "my chickens are beasts at making eggs" and then pegged them at the ceiling and at a couple who were making out
We play beat the clock every morning. When the alarm goes off, she hits snooze and drops her panties. If I can't finish in time to beat the snooze, she jumps in the shower and I've gotta jerk off.
I'm dipping store brand pepperoni pizza in bacon flavored ranch dressing. Obesity tastes so good.
Do you ever look at someone's Snapchat story and think ‘you told me you would eat my ass’?
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
Randomize
