Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
Birthday Coupon: This text is good for alteast 3 hours of Birthday Sex. Redeamable any time, anywhere, and any style.
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
Before we fucked we both mutually agreed not to tweet about it.
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
HAPPY BIRTHDAY I ATE TOO MUCH OF AN EDIBLE AND TOLD MY BARISTA I LOVED HER
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