my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
woke up next to the new dishwasher. set the record for banging a new employee to 6 hours...i should be a professional sexual predator
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
they told me that it was glow in the dark and would make me magical. I was too drunk to say no. I woke up to a purple vagina.
its like a neon Im stupid as fuck sign
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