that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
I should probably file for unemployment. Sometime between last night and 4 AM I facebooked my manager the lyrics to hoe by ludacris. I'm just projecting ahead here.
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
Watching her eat just hurts me
I feel like when purchasing hard liquor on a Monday I also need to buy a happy 21st bday card to not seem so pathetic
Xanax and an ambien. And wine. I'm just waiting for mouth to mouth from some hot EMT. Sort of like the slutty girls version of sleeping beauty
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
my mom asked if I found my Easter basket. it's 1PM & I got home an hour ago from last night. if I'm looking for anything, it's my dignity.
Apparently I've texted the word shitfucked so much it auto-completes it now.
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
Randomize
