I just tried to pick my 105-lb puppy up and accidentally fingered its asshole
There are some things we keep to ourselves Brian
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
Thanks so much for having me, I'm really sorry that I almost caused your dog to catch on fire and also for breaking your doorknob
I passed out drunk in her bed. Her boyfriend showed up and told me to go to the other room or we were gonna have a threesome. I threw up off the side of her bed and left. I feel like that was an adequate response.
Randomize
