I really like you and I'm tired of just hooking up. I want you be my boyfriend.
Uhh, I'm not breaking up with my girlfriend to be with you.
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
Soooo how am i supposed to explain to my mom that i was admitted to the hospital but you kidnapped me within 20 minutes?
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
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