could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
Last night at the bar my fuck buddies found out about each other.
Wtf? What happened?
Not quite sure but they rock, paper, scissored to see who was taking me home.
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
Things I want for my birthday 1. a Chipotle grade tortilla steamer 2. a new liver
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Randomize
