Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
Based on how hungover I feel today, it makes more sense that the bouncer didn't let me in to that bar.
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.
Fuck you guys, I'm trying to nurse my hangover and eat my chicken tenders in peace.
Preface: Im drunk. But i think id make a good assasin. That is all.
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
Randomize
