hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
Mother nature decided I wasn't going to be a whore today. Fuck her.
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
We both paused during sex to do the clap during the Friends theme song. Soulmates.
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
There should be a company that sends nadgrams. They're like candy grams except the recipient gets kicked in the balls.
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
It’s just a penis. It’s like every other penis except it’s not the one you’re married to. Ride it or don’t ride it, but don’t agonize about it
Your not going to hell because you need some strange and the neighbor noticed you look damn good in a bikini
Randomize
