..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
He plays me like an instrument...he is the Carlos Santana of my vagina.
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
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They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
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I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
You know you were really drunk last night when you woke up and had someone else's jacket with their car keys and medical marijuana that you wore home from the bar and no sign of your actual jacket.
I am such a fucking liability at weddings. I ended up making out with this married 40-year-old that told me that basically if I came home with him and be a sex partner for him and his wife, I would never have to pay for anything again. Extremely considered it.
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
Definitely went to court without a bra and panties because Mr. LastNight’s dog stole them. I guarantee you I was the only lawyer going commando in court
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