Turns out I'm a social drinker... I just happen to be REALLY social.
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
He tried to say "god bless your heart" to the stripper but it came out "god bless your pussy"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
You talked the cab driver into taking a shot from your flask at a red light because "Ray Charles would want him to"
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
Randomize