I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
I ACCIDENTALLY HOOKED UP WITH A GUY WHO HAS A NICHOLAS CAGE POSTER ABOVE HIS BED I CANT HANDLE LIFE.
The universe is either telling you 1. you make terrible decisions or 2. its time to let go of your hatred of Cage.
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
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