ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
3 things I learned last night: 1.) I'm not as light as I used to be. 2.) Sex on the roof of a convertible is a really bad idea. 3.) The hospital now has super glue pens for sealing minor cuts instead of stitches!
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
I just sang Hey Jude with a homeless man and then we drank beer together. Then I watched asians take pictures under a xmas tree for an hour and fell asleep in an MGM Grand bathroom stall. #AloneinVegas
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
I had a dream I hooked up with Post Malone. I can still smell the dream
If a weird guy texts you in the near future asking if you are satan just go with it
You know those times when you're sitting down for a while and r like damn I'm sober but then stand up and r like WOAH HOLD UP.
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
Randomize
