whats up tonight?
Ice cream, wine, and teabags... Not the earl grey kind
Every time I hang out with your gay friend, I have to make a checklist of words to look up when I get home. First Google of the night? "Power bottom."
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
This guy legit just tried to LSAT formal logic his way into my pants. Contrapositives and everything.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
I need to stop drinking alone, I wrote a love letter to my tattoos
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
She unfriended me four minutes after we fucked. That must be some sort of record.
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
Last night was a bad idea. I'm hungover and the contents of my purse smell like Korean BBQ.
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