He just turned on a sound machine. I need to get the fuck out of here.
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
I just had to blow my nose on a mcdonalds receipt in my car. Its time to stop doing coke.
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
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