dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
I swear she's a drunk klepto...by the end of the night she had stolen 3 bowling balls. HOW DO YOU STEAL 3 BOWLING BALLS?
I just woke up tangled in fishing line while wearing someone else's bathing suit with fishes drawn all over me. What kind of sex did we have?
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
My tub is filled with twinkies which would be awesome if they were still wrapped and not floating in a mixture of bath water and what appears to be vomit.
This morning I woke up in the entrance of a retirement home. Memory fragments from last night: making it rain with the contents of my wallet over the bridge, getting hit by a car, and a lot of running.
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
Randomize
