Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
He finally admitted that he was drunk when I asked him how he got the rug burn on his chin and he replied "the worm contest"
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
didn't know how to tell his mom I was confused about how long we'd been together because we banged for a full year before making it official
Considering the fact that you wouldn't give me my cat last night because he was "destined for broadway", yeah, I'm accusing you of stealing him
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
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