READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
I woke up in a hospital at three in the morning only to realize my pee is now going to be orange. I've grown to realize I've made all the right decisions
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
so all I remember is hig-fiving the cop and then sprinting away. considering I'm not in jail, I count that as a win.
I just woke up, dressed as Chris Brown, with a bunless hot dog (presumably from 7/11) in my pocket, wearing a pair of shoes I don't recognize as my own. Help.
Randomize
