Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
Chillin with my Grandpa and my grandma tells us there is a tornado warning. My grandpa then says "We'll go hang out in the basement, we can bring the keg with us." This is why I love coming home
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
Chick stood right next to me in the elevator. Like she had the whole elevator and she stood right next to me. So I farted.
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
I know you're on a date and I should leave you alone but about twenty minutes ago I realized I haven't been spanked in years so if you're still looking for a birthday present, you know, consider it.
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
I wanted one last NYC adventure and I got it. Now I just have to figure out a polite way to wake up the pantless former stripper illegal Russian immigrant street violinist chick currently in a vodka coma in my bed.
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
His dog hid my thong. Let me tell you, the last thing you want during a commando mini skirt walk of shame is lots of wind. There’s a church congregation that knows all my business
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