Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
She always acts like she's doing me a favor with a hand job. I've been giving myself hand jobs for almost 20 years.
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
After throwing up in a tequila bottle on my nightstand (still not sure how she did that) she asked if she could slip into something more comfortable.
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
The investigator asked if we were sharing a pitcher of margaritas. I corrected him and explained that we each had our own.
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
Dude. That's like masturbating until the point that you're going to climax, then stopping, waiting for a few seconds and then starting all over. While that does lead to an altogether more powerful orgasm, it's still annoying as hell until you get there.
I was not expecting that analogy.
No one ever expects that analogy.
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
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