Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
So! As of five minutes ago I've officially masturbated in every room in my apartment
Dude, I helped you move in yesterday...
Randomize
