margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
I judge my drunkenness on my brickbreaker playing skills. I'm winning. Suck it.
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
You were so drunk that some guy dressed as Harry Potter pointed his wand at you and screamed "Accio SHITSHOW"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
Ihop lady gave me free pancakes for being sober this time
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was my little brother's 14th birthday today. Didn't know what to get him so I just showed him how to use incognito tabs on google chrome.
I did the mature thing and subtweeted that bitch. She follows me so she'll see.
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
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