Not only did a random toaster end up in my house last night, it's also full of skittles.
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
Welp, she's chewing our paper towels again. She's like an obnoxiously hot puppy
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
He's ruined me. Do you know how frustrating it is to know I'll never find another guy as tall and handsome and rich with as big of lips & booty, and cock as him who also rims and takes me on tropical vacations and buys me all the cocaine.
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
Randomize
