I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
You've never even broken a bone. You singlehandedly disprove natural selection
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
Driving home this morning in my minion costume makes me rethink the 0 tint on my windows.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
How do I explain to work that I woke up in my underwear on a trampoline and that I'm not coming in?
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
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