Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
I'd steal beers with my tail. If I were a monkey.
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
I can't believe I just compared my penis to a St. Bernard.
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
You have not lived until you've seen your mother stumble into the house with one shoe on mumbling incoherently about tequila cupcakes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
Had a dream I went to Disney to visit you and then I got really drunk and puked all over these little kids in line
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
Do the security cameras outside your house capture sound? If so your whole family is going to hear me describe my threesome
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
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