You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
Your philanthropic work just got me laid, thanks dad for naming me #2.
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
Old lady caught me peeing in the street and yelled at me and said "I REBUKE YOU"
Let's drink?
Just because it's bacon vodka doesn't mean it's for breakfast.
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
I found dried jizz from last night on my leg while feeding an infant a bottle. I am not fit to care for children
Dude. She was wearing nothing but Wonder Woman panties and a flag for a cape and sneaking around leaving PBR's by passed out people for the morning. She called herself the 'Merica Fairy.
Why haven't you proposed already?
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
I had to cum in my sink.
Randomize
