She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
OMG A WOMANS PROSTETIC ARM JUST FELL OFF AT BAGGAGE CLAIM
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
Seriously, you can't give someone's wife an orgasm on the dance floor of a gay nightclub and then hang out with her husband the following week
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
I punched some guy in the face for being an asshole then later I went to say sorry and give him a hug and he started making out with me. How was your new years?
Don't stress. That was a joke. I'd trust my pets with no one else. Accidents happen. Sometimes things go smoothly when you help a neighbor out and sometimes you electrocute their fish. Life is funny that way.
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
Randomize
