I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
I knew you were gonna be a good wingman when the words "dibs on the chunky one" came out of your mouth.
all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
me texting you is like we have secret walkie talkies.
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
third nipple confirmed
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
Randomize
