I just cut my nipple shaving
Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
How external is "for external use only"?
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
It's okay I didn't send any nudes tonight so we are safe *inserts photo of a baseball umpire doing the safe signal*
sorry didn’t mean to call you, i was just trying to put the t-rex emoji beside your name
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
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