'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
Just left a map of the Aleutian islands on this Eskimo girls face. Check one off my Alaska to do list.
I'm officially my mother.. Smoking in the garage pretending to take the dog out in a big ugly jacket
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just spit on a sock to clean a spot on my glass table. Oddest combination of so lazy and motivated ever.
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nah. And this is true. It's like you were trained by sexual Jedi or something.
*jedi wave* this is the penis you were looking for
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
Found a pic on my phone from last night. You're drunk. Arm wrestling some guy. In the bar bathroom. At a baby changing station. It's my new wallpaper.
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
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