her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
I just made a steamroller out of a christmas ornament. I feel so festive.
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
My new years resolution is going to be to stop drunk snapchatting old hook ups asking them when we're going to bang again
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
Randomize
