Forgive me I'm always horny when I wake up
I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
i really like this girl i slept with last night
you ask her out again?
yeah but she said she is busy next weekend getting married
Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
just found a beer in my hamper. even my laundry is a dirty alcoholic.
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
worse hangover than the time you almost threw up in a plant in front of your daycare kids?
...I don't remember telling you about that but yes
Randomize
