some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
He jumped into a mall fountain. I don't think that warrants a lifetime ban or the disorderly persons charge, but whatever. Fuck you Pennsylvania.
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
I snapchatted him 4 pictures of me as Tarzan's dad so if he never talks to me again at least we'll know why
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
Sorry my phone died. Obviously four o'clock in the morning is a good time to tell you this.
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
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