im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
My bosses just told me they met their wives on one night stands. I'm stoked.
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
Randomize
