I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
She was wasted. Kept yelling "what if I'm pregnant" and trying to push me into the tree. First and last time I bring a girl to my family christmas party.
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
why are our drunk alter egos so much more successful than us?
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
Randomize
