I just poured my flask into a drink. Then I realized the drink belonged to the guy next to me so I stole it from him. He confronted me and I made out with him to distract him. When I looked up, I realized his wife was watching. Its barely 10:00.
Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night
U should. Its a good ice breaker
I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
two words...techno handjob
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
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