yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
So im at the gym and some guy has a tattoo of a hand doing the shocker... The douche bag bar has been raised yet again.
These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
I'm serious. My alarm label is "BAR TABS" as motivation for me to wake up in the morning and go to work.
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
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