I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
Me. You. Shitty green clothes from Savers that we will dub alligator costumes. Middle of the quad tomorrow at noon. Bring your alligator voice and the pearls before swine comic.
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
foreskin is a definite game changer
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
YAS. BRING CRAB.
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
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