he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
I just ate a drumstick out of the garbage. I need a life coach.
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
I should probably file for unemployment. Sometime between last night and 4 AM I facebooked my manager the lyrics to hoe by ludacris. I'm just projecting ahead here.
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
Reading my bank statement stoned makes me feel like an adult.
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
Randomize
