Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
tonight is going to be epic. can you pre-book an ambulance?
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
if there weren't so many witnesses I 100% wouldve punted that squirrel
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
I'll call you on my way home
Oh my god I'm going to die between now and then... can you at least tell me if y'all hooked up???
Randomize