Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
When your boyfriends ex-girlfriend texts you to see what you're wearing to his sister's wedding that you were not invited to, nor knew about. I think it's time to call it quits.
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
I literally paid cover, got kicked out. Tried to explain that I was just clumsy, but mispronounced it. Then I got pissed off, stormed out..and clotheslined myself on a velvet rope. How was your night?
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
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